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Humble Relationship Advice from a Married Man of 14 years

(My reply to a Facebook post from a childhood friend and I kept being told I should share it by many people)

Been with my wife for about 18 years, married for 14 years – my advice would be several….(forgive me for the long post but hopefully it helps)

1/ Communication.

Any issues that come up deal with them ASAP. So that it doesn’t linger.

No ego, no stubbornness.

The more an issue lingers the bigger the problem can get. Like a crack in the foundation of a house if not taken care of then the foundation splinters —similar to your bond with your partner.

The easier you guys communicate with each other and listen to one another then the better off you are.

2/ Trust – have faith in each other.

Don’t jump to conclusions sometimes things aren’t what they appear to be. Remember that’s where the communication comes in.

3/ Confidence.

Confidence is a person’s greatest accessory – it is extremely important.

Not cocky, not arrogant just sure of yourself and love yourself. If you don’t value yourself how do you expect someone else to.

Nothing sexier in the world than a Confident Woman!!!

4/ Have a Positive mindset.

Life is rough some days and it won’t be all roses but having a positive mindset is helpful. Nobody wants to come home to a toxic person.

The person you are in a relationship with will cause 90% of your misery or happiness.

So if you are confident and you guys communicated with each other and trust each other then that can help navigate through any issues.

5/ Have shared goals and have your own as well.

Build a life plan together to strengthen your bond but also continue to have your own interests as well.

If you guys do every single thing together then it gets stifling and doesn’t leave any room for discovery.

If you know every single thing about each other than it breeds comfort and too much comfort can get boring (unless you don’t mind that).

Different interests only help grow your Relationship with new creativity.

6/ Don’t get complacent.

Be creative. If you live your relationship like you did the first 6 months you were together then it will be fun.

You remember the first 6 months – always exciting, the anticipation, long phone calls, butterflies, Sex.

All the feelings from those 90’s R&B songs, well it gets harder to maintain as the time goes.

Relationship changes, you guys may have kids now or want kids and you may or may not live together – so trust me when I say you guys need to work together and be creative.

My wife and I have been together going on 18 years and I still get butterflies – that is because we still go out on dates. Do unexpected things and have fun as we did in the first 6 months.

Your relationship is a journey and if you guys don’t like the journey then it won’t be fun. I know a lot of people who are divorced and they tell me it’s because the relationship wasn’t fun anymore they fell out of love.

7/ Love and respect each other.

•Love:

Have each other’s back. It shouldn’t be hard to love that person and stay in love.

Cherish the moments together. Love the good ones and reflect on the bad ones for growth. If you get to that point of love then do what you can to maintain it.

Love and come in many ways big and small. Like being thankful for each other, cooking their favorite meals, remembering little stuff, laughing, etc.

•Respect:

Respect that person. It goes without saying that they should do the same to you.

No unnecessary drama or bullshit

Don’t belittle that person or embarrass them for unnecessary reasons – listen to them. All goes back to the communication aspect.

If they don’t warrant your respect you guys shouldn’t be together.

But if they deserve it then always be respectful. If you mess up to apologize, talk and move on.

It takes a lot to maintain a good relationship but it is possible. This advice can be applied to anyone. It has been essential for me and hopefully for you as well.

Thank you for reading.